Taking Time to “Pause”: Reflections from “The Mountain Top” (AKA a recent retreat)

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying,
yet our inner man is being renewed day by day."
~2 Corinthians 4:16
(The Key passage that set the tone for the weekend) 

Was blessed to be a part of a men’s retreat the weekend of May 3rd – 5th, 2013 with my home church and wanted to share some reflections via this post.

General Thoughts:
The location/venue (Twin Rocks Camp and Conference Center in Rockaway, Oregon) as well as the weather, accommodations, fellowship, etc. were fantastic!!
The Speaker, Worship in song, break out groups were great as well and it turned out to be a weekend that had profound impact on many.

Spiritual Insights:
We were challenged to connect with God in a way we’ve never connected with Him before – something I’d say as men that we’re not real good at sometimes even though deep down we hunger for true relationship.

The speaker kicked off the weekend on Friday night by sharing his testimony and then during each of the sessions introduced a major theme of renewal and challenged us through the Scriptures and his recent journey with God to take time to pause with God. We were challenged to take time to be with God whether you pause for 2 minutes, 30 minutes or more. Taking time to read His Word, pray and listen for His direction. We were also reminded time and time again that we are not alone!

It was a needful reminder (or for some it may have been the first time they heard these assurances) as we live in a busy and hurried world! I know how busy I get working and serving Him that I forget to do just this, pause to be with Him.

In our breakout sessions where we met in small groups, the stories and testimonies started to unfold about the impact this was having on each of us.

Little-by-little we became more transparent with where we’ve come from, where we are, and what lies ahead with personal changes we need to make and need help from God and others to do so.

This was especially true when the question was posed to us to “pause” and consider and then share/discuss in our small group times: “What is (or maybe what are) the Lie(s) I believe about God.” Or, to personalize it, “what is the lie “I” believe about God?”
I know I wrestled with this question a bit myself and a couple things automatically came to mind as the speaker asked the question.

I listened to others share during our small group time and then I shared a few things as well and It was evident that we are not alone in our battles and not alone with how we tend to think about God sometimes either.

After our Saturday morning session and lunch we had about 4 ½ hours of free time before dinner and our evening session. After a hike with my son, he then wanted to relax at the camp so I decided to hit the beach, take a walk, snap some pictures and videos and relax / pause for a bit as I continued to process what God was teaching us.

About 30 minutes before needing to head back I sat down to physically pause and hear from God.

I had some worship/praise music playing in my headphones and as I prayed and looked out toward the ocean – the ocean He created, I again pondered the question the speaker asked us during the session, “What is the like I believe about God?”

As I reflected on this and prayed some more and then listened - within moments another question came to mind… “What is or are the lies I believe about myself?”

Boom!  That question hit me as they say, “right between the eyes!”

I drilled into this for a few moments and then I felt prompted to take a piece of paper from my notepad and write down the things that came to mind. Within less than literally 30 seconds to a minute I looked down and realized there were 10 things listed there – 10 major things and sadly I think I could have kept going!

You see, I realized why it hit me and it’s not only because of my past, but it seemed to drill down to penetrate the core of my heart and soul with the realization that how I view myself – the lies I believe about myself – directly reflects on how I view God!

Why?...Because He made me (all of us) in His image and His Word states clearly who I am in Him and how He sees me! I have no business believing these things about myself!

The list that I wrote down - literally boiled down to trust for me and due to my past, trust is a big issue for me…especially but not limited to other men, male leaders, friends, or male role models. So, I have to continually learn how to trust God (and others) – trust that He loves me unconditionally like He says and has shown that He does, and that everything He says that I am in Him and how He clearly states how He’ll never leave or forsake me and that He’ll provide, etc for me throughout His Word is true and that I can completely trust HIM!

For years I have put up barriers and have had a low self-image because of my past. I have continually had to learn about who I am in Him and that the lies I speak of or think about myself are just that - lies!

As I reflected on all of this, I was then led to turn that list sideways and right the word LIES over the entire list in large letters. Next I was prompted to burn that list up and as I watched the list of lies burn up, line-by-line, before me I realized that I don’t need to dwell on or receive them anymore because I know the truth and need to live in His unchanging truth about who I am and who God says I am!

I cannot allow myself to believe the lies about God or myself any longer and pray that with God’s help I will allow the lies that were represented on that list and more too truly disappear!

For me it was a simple yet powerful moment as I released things I had hung onto for far too long and they were and are barriers to walking fully in the newness of life He desires for me.

I ask you to pray for me as I continue this journey and walk with Him that I’d truly let go of these lies once and for all and in place of them, believe the truths about Him and myself that are so clearly laid out in his Word!

I challenge you to do the same and start by asking God for help identifying what lies you believe about Him as well as yourself and then confess those things, let them go, and move forward in His name, love and grace!

The next day (Sunday) which was our final retreat day and session we had a special and moving time of communion to close our time together. For me this was a very fitting end to the weekend as we celebrated the Lord’s Table which is a great time to celebrate what He’s done for you and I but also that we can take time to lay the burdens down before Him as He works in our lives.

The Mountain Top:
During special times of personal retreat or special serve efforts such as a mission trip or other significant life event, we have what we often refer to as a “Mountain Top Experience”.

Much like others throughout history who had significant things happen through such experiences we can and do have tremendously moving events take place during these times.

The hope always is that through those “Mountain Top” times that those momentary events, once “off The Mountain Top”, would lead to lasting life change!

I believe and my prayer is that per my own experience and others experience through this specific time that this will be the case! 

The end of this weekend was truly the beginning of a fresh new perspective for myself and many others I suspect and I’m excited to see what changes and new things come for myself and others as we strive to walk in newness and let the old life, the old things, the lies disappear.

I’m very thankful for the very simple, contemplative and profound weekend and pray that the effects of the learnings of the weekend aren’t temporal but truly become life altering and lasting changes for everyone, including myself that attended.

Principles to Ponder:

• Take Time to Pause – Pause Often and Regularly: Seek God regularly! Take time to connect with Him. Whether it’s in 2 minute intervals throughout the day to longer times, it’s vital that you and I invest this time with God seeking Him and listening for His direction.
• Take Inventory: Ask God to help you take inventory of your journey from time-to-time. Assess what lies you’re believing about God and yourself.
• Take Time to Connect with Others: Building relationships is an important aspect of your journey especially in the context of your spiritual life as well as life in general. We weren’t designed to do life alone and we need the help of others to rise above where we are and to move forward.

Questions for personal reflection:

• How often do I take time and connect with God?
• Why don't I pause?
• What is the lie (or the lies) I believe about God?
• What is the lie (or the lies) that I believe about myself?
• What do I need to do / need God’s help to do in order to move forward more fully in the newness of life He desires for me?

I would love to hear and learn from your own experience! So, please leave a comment in reply to this post for the benefit of not only myself, but others who may stop by this blog
for a visit.
 
Blessings and Love in Christ,
rlk

Focus

Here's some great perspective on Focus:

   "Imagine you suddenly found yourself adrift in the ocean with a life preserver but no idea where the shoreline was.  As far as the eye can see, there's only the same wide blue vastness.  What would you do?  Probably tread water, battling waves and struggling against the current.  But without a clear direction you'd soon grow discouraged."
  
    "That's what life is like when we have no focus.  We drift about-going to work, paying our bills, reacting to whatever comes our way, but feeling rudderless.  We may even be happy for the most part.  But eventually days turn into years and we find ourselves so far off course that we've lost track of the dreams we once had."
   
    "Having focus provides a reference point, a lighthouse on the horizon to swim toward with enthusiasm and hope.  It prevents us from floating, adrift in our own personal sea.  to make any lasting change or achieve any meaningful goal, you need to know where you want to go and how you're going to get there."

"Without a goal line, the game of football makes no sense, and neither does the game of life."
 
Taken from The Spark by Chris Downie

Blessings,

rlk

Balancing Life – Thoughts on the “Balancing Act” of Life

Let me ask you, is your life balanced well? If you sat down and took an inventory of the activities you’re involved with, does it seem like you’re involved in too much, not enough, or things are just great and everything is balanced with your home, work, ministry, relationships, etc? Are you feeling exhausted or invigorated by your activities? We all have multiple areas and activities in life that we all have to manage and balance and seek the Holy Spirit’s help to spotlight areas that are out of balance because each area needs to have proper priority so you can live your life to the fullest for Him as a blessing to all those He’s places in your life.

The above questions are important questions to ask yourself from time to time and seek God about.

Personally I’ve been seeking God on many things related to this as I’ve sense for some time now that, (without going into too many personal details here) my life isn’t as balanced as it should be. Some weeks I spend close to as much time serving in ministry as I do through work and then my relationships suffer because of it because I’m not home or available and physically and spiritually I’ve become exhausted at times.

I’m someone who tends to give more than 110% to almost everything God places before me and I started asking myself some tough questions as things were brought to my attention by The Lord as I was seeking Him. During this effort I was blessed to go to a weekend retreat just a few weeks ago now. Over that weekend I sought God on these things and heard from Him clearly regarding some changes I need to make in my life – changes that He wanted and wants me to change. Changes that will ultimately allow me to by His grace, de-stress, unburden, and balance my life better so I can serve Him more effectively and I can care for and build up my wife, children and other relationships more! He also showed me that I’ll also be able to focus and do even better in the ministries He has me involved with if I do things His way and He also reminded me of the equally important area of life which is investing more into the lives of my wife, kids and other relationships!

One of the tough things he showed me is that I needed to resign from one of the ministries and teams at church that I’m very passionate about. God showed me that I’ve done all He wants me to do with it and just that one ministry will free up more time as some weeks I was spending upward toward 15+ hours a week, (which included meetings and tasks that needed to be accomplished) on top of everything else. It was very tough to resign but once I did, I was at peace about it because I knew God directed my path and I wasn’t feeling regret or over analyzing things like I always do!

You see, I don’t easily stop serving as God has passionately wired me to serve and shepherd wherever He’s placed me. So, If it was up to me, I'd still be continuing to knock myself out trying to do everything and serve all but this is a season for me to take a step back and seek more direction and concentrate on all the aspects of the life He's blessed me with, again, I'm seeking His guidance to balance things out better.

I'm not sure if everyone understands but When God "hits you over the head with a hammer" to get your attention, you/I need to be obedient to listen. :-)

One side note, in the above example I was somewhat surprised that only two people even wondered or asked, “is everything alright?”, (not that I was trying to make a statement by stepping down) since I was a part of this team since the beginning. You just never know what people are thinking or what assumptions people make but the one thing I’ve learn in observation over the years is that if you’re concerned about someone, you just need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading and simply ask them. :=) I digress I suppose…

I’m sure in the coming week/months; He will reveal more work He wants me to do in order to balance life out so I can more effectively live for and serve Him! I’m also sure that as I continue to seek Him He’ll give me even more clarity regarding the areas where He wants to serve where I’ll grow and serve Him more effectively!

I share all this as a practical example of something we as believer’s need to consider and seek the Lord on. We cannot keep going at 100 mph all the time because the more we do so, the more out of balance our lives become and the less we'll tend to hear and see His direction for our lives! Why? Because our vision tends to become foggy sometimes as we're too busy serving Him to step back and hear and see Him! Or another way to put it is that we become too busy in the activities of serving Him and living life that we aren't stepping back and being nourished by Him which is very important for obvious reasons.

If you’re reading this and you happen to not be a Christian, in a practical sense you should also consider balancing your life out as well. Let me also encourage you to investigate for yourself what a relationship with God is all about - What does it mean to be a Christian? For more information to help you in your investigation - you might find this entry titled “Journey of Grace” helpful. At the bottom of the article you’ll find some useful resource links as well.

As I bring this entry to a close, (I might write more on this topic at a later date) I wanted to share an article that provide additional thoughts and tips on this topic of Balancing the Christian life which has some helpful tips and will encourage you to start seeking the Lord on the state of your life, whether it’s balanced or not.

Please scroll down to read the article.

For Additional Thoughts and Reflection please also see the below resources on your way to the article:

I found a good blog entry recently that has additional thoughts on balancing life by a director at Dallas Theological Seminary the entry is title, “Balancing Life & the Christian Life.”

Also for a great book on Balancing the Christian life check out “Balancing The Christian Life” by Charles Ryrie. Some versions come with a study guide as well which will help you dig a little deeper through each chapter. This is a text that I had to read and study in Bible College.

_____________________________________________________________

Balance Your Life Well

Whitney Hopler
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer

Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Bill Butterworth's book, On the Fly Guide to Balancing Work and Life, (Waterbrook Press, 2006).

Stress, frustration, exhaustion, and guilt are the symptoms of a life out of balance. You’ll feel them if your work eclipses your relationships. You want to be successful at everything in your life, but too often, you run out of time and energy trying to do it all.

The key is realizing that life isn’t a sprint – it’s a marathon. If you balance your life at the right steady pace, you can achieve long-term fulfillment.

Here’s how you can balance your life well:

Pursue endurance. Stop rushing through life as if it were a sprint instead of a marathon. Don’t burn yourself out. Pray for the patience you need to approach situations with endurance. Ask God to give you His eternal perspective on the various aspects of your life.

Get rid of the “hazies.” Don’t let hazy thinking cause you to lose sight of your long-term goals. Think and pray about what’s most important, and establish priorities. Then make all your decisions with those priorities in mind. Remember that you only have so much time and energy; use it well. Focus just on what choices are best for you to avoid being distracted by the many other good choices you have available. Regularly remind yourself of your priorities, and build your schedule around activities that will most help you fulfill those priorities. Study how you usually spend your time, and notice how you’re currently balancing your attention between tasks and relationships. Frequently stop to consider whether or not you’re living your life in a way that would cause you no regrets if you were to die unexpectedly.

Ask yourself these questions to check your priorities: “What is my mission in life?”, “Why do I do this kind of work?”, “Where is my focus these days?”, “What are my long-term goals?”, “What are the important things in life to me?”, “Who are the three people to whom I am closest?”, “Are my relationships characterized more by giving or by getting?”, “Are my relationships characterized by love?”, “Who would I like to get to know better in the next six months?”, “To whom am I accountable?”, “Do I set aside a regular time and place for reflection?”, “What does quietness look like in my life?”, “What is the most common roadblock that keeps me from a regular time of quietness?”, “How might keeping a journal help me to achieve more balance?” and “What qualities would I most like to possess?”.

Get rid of the “lazies.” Ask God to help you develop the self-discipline you need to bring your life into the right balance. Realize that you will have to make some sacrifices to achieve a healthy balance in your life; be willing to do so. Know that you should eliminate one activity from your schedule for every new activity to which you commit. Be creative about how you can cut down on your work hours to free up more time for your relationships. Consider shifting your work hours to times that conflict less with your family’s schedule, eliminating distractions that decrease your productivity during work hours, delegating certain tasks to others, and other solutions that will free up time for you. Be patient while working to achieve your career goals; acknowledge that it will take some time to earn a promotion, start a business, etc., and don’t burn yourself out while you work toward those goals. Don’t let your job become the dominant influence in your life, crowding out everything else that’s also important. Instead, be proactive and intentional about planning your life well.

Ask yourself these questions: “Will the thing that is causing imbalance in my life really matter 10 years from now?”, “Is it possible for me to do fewer unimportant things at work and outside the office?”, “Can I accomplish my goals and be flexible at the same time?”, “Can I replace ‘either/or’ thinking with ‘both/and’ solutions?”, “Can I work smarter as opposed to harder?” , “Can I pencil in time to reflect on my life on a regular basis?” , “What issues in life and on the job should I plan for so I can stick to my priorities?”, “How can I become more flexible?”, “How can planning help me understand what is really important?”, “How can I include time-sensitive matters in my planning?”, “Do I have a strategy to deal with urgent matters without forgetting about the important things?”, “Can planning help me anticipate problems before they arise?”, “How can focusing help me cut down my time spent doing things that don’t matter?”, “Can I commit to the practice of not adding anything more to my schedule without first taking something else away?”, “Can I begin to think in terms of what must be done versus what might need doing?”, “How good am I at delegating tasks instead of postponing them?”, “How can I avoid traps like excess paperwork or the interruptions of the phone, fax, or pager?”, “Do I need to plan fun in my life, or does it just happen for me?”, “What are the methods I have used in the past for recharging my physical and emotional batteries?” and “How can I overlap the concept of fun with the concept of connecting to other people?”.

Get rid of the “crazies.” Don’t allow your life to run out of control. Learn to say “no” or “not right now” to requests for your time and energy that don’t reflect your current priorities. Think of the people (your spouse, each of your kids, each of your friends, etc.) and things (your job, your volunteer activities, your church, your gym, etc.) that demand your time in terms of laps you run around a track. Then prioritize those laps into levels of importance, and consider what changes you should make to how you spend your time. Pace yourself so you include significant time in your life for both learning and leisure, as well as labor.

As you consider learning in your life, ask yourself: “What class would be enjoyable and enriching for me to take?”, “What is the last book I read, and when did I read it?”, “What book would I enjoy reading?”, “What is the biggest hurdle to overcome regarding learning, and how can I get over it?”, “What form of learning do I only dream about, and how can I make that dream a reality?”. As you consider leisure in your life, ask yourself: “What is my favorite form of leisure?”, “How can I incorporate leisure into my routine?”, “How can my fun activities even benefit me at work?”, “Am I getting enough exercise?”, “Am I eating healthy?”, “Am I getting enough sleep?” and “How can I better mix business and pleasure?”. As you consider labor in your life, ask yourself: “How can I be more efficient at work?”, “What would make my work more significant?”, “How can I refocus my job so that it helps me achieve my life’s goals?”, “How do I prioritize?” and “How can I learn to focus on the most important clients and customers I have, while still getting all my work done?”.

Stay on track. Remember that balancing your life isn’t just a one-time event; it’s a process that needs your constant attention. Stay connected to God through prayer each day and rely on His strength to help you keep your life in the right balance as your circumstances change.

Adapted from On the Fly Guide to Balancing Work and Life, copyright 2006 by Bill Butterworth. Published by WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc., Colorado Springs, Co., www.randomhouse.com/waterbrook/.

Bill Butterworth blends humor, storytelling, wisdom, and practical advice, which has made him a popular speaker throughout North America. Bill speaks frequently for corporate clients that include American Express, Ford, Disney, Bank of America, and Chrysler. A highly regarded author, Bill has written books on topics ranging from sports to psychology and self-help issues. He has been a columnist, editor, and scriptwriter. Bill lives with his wife, Kathi, in Newport Beach, California.