Monday, June 19, 2023

An Encouragement For Discouraged Dads

Dear Men, especially Dads,

On Father's Day I had the honor of reading a post that was forwarded to me and as an imperfect father of 5 (all who are young adults now), I found it super comforting, special, and like a healing balm to the soul, mind, and spirit of this dad.  

I asked the author, Cendrine Hosoda for permission to share it with you and she graciously agreed as she would like this to reach other dads. Thank you Cendrine!

Please read this guest post and I pray you are as encouraged as I am by what she shared. Always remember that there is still time to change, grow, and heal as a man, father, and grandpa. Don't give up!

God is with you and will help you in your journey. 

Your Brother and Servant In Christ,
Randolph Koch

An Encouragement For Discouraged Dads
By Cendrine Hosoda

To all the discouraged dads out there on Father's Day,

I want you to know that I think about you today. Maybe your kids don't acknowledge this day, or perhaps you feel like you've messed up too badly. It's possible that you're overwhelmed with confusion, not even knowing where to start. I want to apologize for the lack of modeling and guidance you received growing up, and for the deficiencies you're still trying to navigate in your own heart.

I understand the weight of shame and the high pressure placed on men to represent God the Father to their children. It's a daunting standard that can paralyze you. I know firsthand the battle and the pain that comes with not turning out the way you wanted to for your kids. It hurts when your best intentions don't translate and your efforts go unnoticed because you were unable to connect or understand your child's needs.

I'm sorry for all the times you weren't seen and met in your own needs. It's no wonder that hopelessness and the desire to give up may seem like the only option. But today, I want to be a voice of grace and hope for you. You matter. Your pain matters. What you didn't learn matters. What you wish you had matters. The fact that you resemble your father more than you wanted to matters. Your hurt matters. Your sense of failure matters.

It matters that you tried. It matters if you didn't try and now you regret it. There is grace for every scenario. You can't control the outcome, but you can start pursuing steps toward wellness now. It is never too late for you to begin this journey. The best thing you can do for your kids, even if they won't speak to you or if you doubt they'll ever see your changes, is to pursue change for yourself. You are worth the investment, and it will make a difference.

I won't sugarcoat it. It will be one of the hardest things you'll ever do, but I implore you, on this Father's Day when you feel the pain of failure, disappointment, and grief, make a promise to yourself. Take one step toward working on yourself and allowing God and His servants to help you uncover the person your heart may have stopped dreaming you could be.

It won't be easy, and it will take time. But I promise you, the pain of growth will be worth every bit of it. Your time is not over. The bravest and greatest thing you can do is say, "I'm going to do this. I'm going to work on myself. I'm going to let God have the final say, not people or myself."

May you feel renewed hope that you are not beyond help and hope. Know that I am praying for you as you embark on this journey. I believe in you. You can do this. It will make a difference.

Happy Father's Day

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